"I'm sorry, Miss (l/n). The results came back, and it's positive. We weren't able to catch it soon enough, but we'd be more than happy to make you comfortable if you'd like to check in."
You looked at your fingers solemnly, tears welling in your eyes, "No, I'd rather not be confined to a bed."
"I understand, but you know that we can prolong the time if you'd stay here."
"I do, but it's not really my last days unless I'm spending it how I want to.."
The doctor's eyes softened as he glanced over at you again. "You're right, (f/n). I hope you make them the best they can be." He turned to go out of the door. "I'm estimating a week from today, however I could be wrong. I'm truly sorry," he said as he passed through the doorway.You clutched the paper in your hands, eyes glued to the ugly words written in bold. POSITIVE
. It was only a few weeks ago that everything was normal and now, all of a sudden, you were dying from cancer. With not even a hope for a cure. Tears streaked your cheeks as you began to reminisce and reflect on everything.. Every mistake you made, everything you could have changed, all the people you couldn't have hurt.You closed your eyes and took a deep breath as you wiped the tears from your eyes.
"No.. I'm not going to cry again."
Exactly a week later, as you strolled through the park, you stopped by to admire some blossoming tulips. They were full of new life, and you were so jealous; yours was about to be cut short. You sighed deeply as you remembered your promise, and shut your eyes tightly to prevent the tears from flowing. You placed your hands in the pockets of your spring jackets and resumed your walk. This was how you wanted to spend the last of your days: alone. You didn't have friends, or even relatives for that matter, it didn't matter who knew or even who cared. There was nothing more you could do..
You were knocked out of your train of thought when someone bumped into you, causing you to land on your butt on the hard cement.
"I'm terribly sorry, love. Here, let me help you up." You saw a hand extend to you and you gladly took it as strong arms pulled you up. You dusted yourself off and looked up to thank the person who'd helped you.
"Thank you ver-" you stopped when you saw his face. The one person you didn't want to run into today. Your first love and ex boyfriend, Arthur Kirkland. He hadn't changed one bit since high school, same blond messy hair, same glowing emerald eyes, and the same look of concern he always had plastered on his face.
He gazed at you, piercing your very being with his eyes. " (F/n)? Is that you?" he whispered.
You looked down, ashamed. "Yes, it's me, Arthur," you grumbled.
Arthur put his hand on his messy mop and shifted his eyes to the nearest tree. "Well, love. I'm not doing anything today. Would you like to accompany me to a cafe or something?"
You glared at him and waved him off. "No, Arthur. I really don't want to go anywhere with you," you said as you waltzed past him.
Arthur watched as you walked away, a small amount of resentment building up within him. He tucked his hands in his pockets as he turned and walked in the opposite direction, a frown creeping its way onto his face.
You trudged over to the other side of the park to your favorite willow tree. As you sat down, leaning up against its trunk, you felt the cool breeze lead the soft branches of the willow up to your face, slowly kissing your cheeks. You became lost in the memories of this place.. It was the spot where you and Arthur had your first kiss. He was so nervous, so you initiated and led him through the whole process.. You hugged your knees to your chest.
.." you thought. "I don't know what happened to me.. I'm so sorry, but I can't hurt you anymore
You rested your chin on your knees and said, "I just can't let you find out.. I'm so sorry.."
"What are you sorry for, love?"
You jumped at the voice and turned your head to see Arthur standing beside you.
"Arthur? What the hell? I didn't even hear you?"
He refused to meet your eye. "I come here to think sometimes. It's not just a special place for you, love. It belongs to me too."
Arthur sat down beside you, staring off into nowhere. You could tell he wanted to say something, but this was typical Arthur.
You sighed gruffly. "Look, I know you have something to say, just say it already."
He turned his head sharply towards you, eyes ablaze. "Frankly, I don't have anything else to say. Even if I did, you wouldn't listen. I'm just going to leave you then." He got up quickly and something cringed in the pit of your stomach. You grabbed onto the hem of Arthur's jacket managed to mutter two words. "Stay. Please."
He blinked in surprise but did as you asked.
You looked at his face. Beyond the mask he generally put on, you could easily read all the hurt and sadness written upon his face. You could imagine the tear streakes on his cheeks that he shed for the worthless waste of space you called yourself. Guilt wracked your entire body and you began to shake, slowly letting it take you over.
"Arthur?" you whispered in a voice barely audible.
"What is it, love?" he said, again not looking at you.
He glanced at your shaking form, uneasiness forming in his demeanor.
You took a breath and continued. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you.. For how much pain I caused you. I don't know what happened to me, I just.. Changed." As you began to speak it out loud, everything started to become more clear to you.
"I thought I wanted to be alone, but-" you broke down into tears. "The truth is, I don't want to be alone, Arthur! I'm afraid! I'm so afraid of what's going to happen to me and I promised I wouldn't cry anymore but-"
You were interrupted by a warm pairs of lips, pressed lovingly to yours. After he broke apart, Arthur held you close and comforted you with his light and gentle touch. He rocked you in his strong arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear to try to calm your whimpering. When you'd calmed down a bit, he kissed your forehead tenderly, and whispered, "Love, you don't have to be alone. I'll stay with you for as long as you want."
Your heart started beating rapidly as you contemplated whether or not to tell him.
"Arthur," you sniffed. "I want to tell you something, but I'm afraid, I'll just hurt you more."
"Love, you can't hurt me with anything else. Just tell me," he lied.
You gazed into his soft peridot eyes. "I'm dying, Arthur. Today.. Is suppose to be my last day and I just want to be able to die in my own way."
Those words stabbed Arthur through the heart, ripping himself in two. He buried his face into your hair, taking in what could possibly be his last scent of you. Arthur bit into his lip hard to refrain from crying.
"(F/n), I want to do everything I can for you. Name it. I'll do anything."
You swallowed hard, "I just want to stay here with you, Arthur."
He lifted your frail chin and kissed you again. "As you wish, love."
Arthur wrapped you in his arms as you both laid up against the willow tree where so many wonderful memories had been made, and where so many would be buried. As the sun began to fade, you yawned slightly. You eyes were drooping and you could feel your life leaving you, piece by piece.
"Arthur, thank you for being here with me. I'll always love you, even after I'm gone."
He began to quiver at those words. A single tear slid down his cheek as he replied, "Until the day I die, I'll always love you too, (f/n)."
You smiled as you heard those words and closed your eyes for one final slumber.
The rain continued to pour, never letting up. A man, dressed in black, stood beside a gravestone. It had been a full year and yet, he still mourned for his beloved. As he began to weep, he felt a soft caress on his cheek. He smiled and whispered to the wind, "Until the day I die, love.."